February 17, 2013

Sometimes It's Not Better to Ask What If....

Original Image Source: tumblr.com via Chaos on Pinterest

Once upon a time there was a boy from the warm island of Puerto Rico and a young girl from a small town in New Jersey. Only in the melting pot of Manhattan would their two paths cross. As the girl gazed upon his tall, dark figure he was everything she wanted and as he gazed upon her petite fair figure she was everything he wanted. The two were quickly enamored and instantly bonded. But the happy times would soon be interrupted by this thing called life.
The two were torn apart for reasons unknown until this day and eventually the young girl settled down with another mate. Unlike the tall, dark and handsome gentleman, this new mate was short, stocky and had a disheveled appearance. The romance started out well but soon the two found themselves too comfortable and stuck in a routine. The young girl longed for her island man, "where did he go? why did he leave? I just wish I could talk to him" she would think to herself as she grew even more unhappy with her current prospect. She would sit and stare at him while he talked, carelessly gesturing about some mundane (or at least to the young girl) topic and she'd daydream about the man that came before. His smile, his dimples, the outline of his muscles, the way his heart beat felt pressed against her. Although she did not get a chance to spend much time with the tall, dark and handsome gentleman before he was gone, she began to fill in the gaps with her creative imagination. As the years passed, she was not mad at her mystery man for leaving without a trace but just yearned to hear his voice. If he returned she would not scold him, but rather pick up the pieces and continue their journey together. With him she felt protected from the world in this happy bubble. Here was this man she had only dreamed about in front of her, looking into the windows of her soul and telling her how beautiful she was. But only having an incomplete experience with him, she let her emotions get the best of her and put him on a pedestal.

Then the day finally came... the day she had dreamed about for years. Her heart was a flutter when first hearing his voice. She was swept up in the excitement of his return. However, that warm happy feeling would quickly wash away. She would soon discover that her imagination veered off course and she created a man that was far more superior to the physical man she had known. As she sat in the present day finally in his presence as she so longed, she realizes how much she romanticized their time together. As he talked and the words came out of his mouth, he was not speaking the language of love that she once thought they spoke. People do change and experiences mold their lives but the young woman grew concerned about whether or not this was the same man she had dreamed of so many nights. Was she was finally seeing him for the first time? Or if he had somehow had morphed into this new creature, but if so, how could he be so much different than her memories? For so long she yearned to be with him again and now that he was back in her life, it was different. It wasn't happy. It was unfulfilled. She remembered while with her short, stocky man wondering "what if that island boy never left, would I be in this awful relationship? what if he was still here, how far we would be in our relationship?" She wondered what if for so long and so intensely that now her answer was staring her in the face and it was not the beautiful fantasy she created in her mind. Reality sunk in.

Was it better for the young girl to never let this young man come back in her life to answer her 'what ifs' because he would have remained such a pleasant image for her? Or was it better for her to learn the truth, no matter how painful and squander all those cherished memories? The young woman does not like to live life with regret and tries to see a lesson in every mistake or challenge life throws at you. She is still learning the lesson of this young man from PR. Perhaps the lesson is sometimes it's not always better to wonder what if but to rather leave those favorable distant memories in the past because the truth hurts too much.

Currently playing: Rihanna's "Stay"


  1. I think its human nature to wonder about the what ifs in life, you just need to remember not to dwell on them. Everything in life does happen for a reason, and maybe sometimes you can't see those reasons now but those reasons do come along and remind you how you got to where you are...or who you're with.


    1. Very true. Hopefully in time I'll understand the reasons. But definitely learned not to romantize the past!

  2. Great story, and perhaps sometimes it's better to accept the memories for what they are, instead of being too caught up with the past:)

  3. I definitely really needed to read this as a reality check. I'm still thinking 'what if's' with a certain guy from my workplace, but I know it's time to move on.

  4. It always easy to wonder 'what if' and think about the past. But then, the problem becomes that you can't live in the present. Although it hurts, all of these experiences mold you into the wonderful person that you are.


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