October 16, 2012

I Live Alone. No I'm Not Lonely.

Original image via

When most people find out I live alone, the next question they blurt out is "isn't it lonely?" Um no. It's awesome!! I enjoy coming home to no one. It's very peaceful. I can unwind and take a deep breathe from the busy city life. My apartment really has become my oasis, my escape from stress. I can recharge my batteries if you will.



After reading "Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone" by Eric Klinenberg, I don't feel so odd. He shows that living alone is a healthy part of adulthood. Since you spend so much time with yourself you learn a lot about yourself that those who live with roommates (or family) wouldn't otherwise gain. He also points that those who live with roommates become less social because they do everything with their roommates. When I lived with roommates in Los Angeles, I did do everything with them and didn't make a lot of friends out of that circle. Now that I've been in New York 5 years and living alone all those years, I've been forced to go out. I definitely have a more active social circle (and life) here.

There is one downside. What if something happens to me? One time I pulled my neck and was in excruciating pain. Thankfully my ex came over to help (one nice thing he did!). Another time my brother brought me over ibrofen. I often wonder how strong is my support my system? Would my friends bring me to the hospital if there was a real emergency? When a crane collapsed on to my street leaving my building with no water or electricity, I was able to stay at my aunt's house in New Jersey. But an important issue brought up in "Going Solo" were elderly people who had no one to take them to the doctor or were unable to call for help if they fell.

I'm not sure how long I want to live alone. I strong believe living alone is healthy for my future relationship. I've become more independent than I ever have and have a strong grasp of what I need out of a partner. I've learned a tremendous amount about myself (good and bad) living alone for the past 6 years. Definitely no interest in sharing a space anytime soon. I think its important in any relationship to hold onto personal time. I would like to one day share my life with someone but at 27 I don't see myself doing that by 37.

What are your thoughts about living alone?

18 comments:

  1. I think you need to have a certain type of personality to live alone. I don't think I could do it. My fiancee has been away for almost week and I'm so lonely. I mean I do love my alone time but that only lasted a couple of days. I guess it also the fact that I grew up in a small apartment with my parents so I always had someone around.

    I don't think it's strange at all for someone to live by themselves. I think its a great opportunity to learn about yourself. I had a room one year in college all to myself (even though that's different then an actual apartment) I did learn how to really take care of myself.

    http://fashionistanygirl.blogspot.com/

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    1. Aww I know it's not for everybody. Definitely for me though! haha being a middle child, I don't know, just need my own space. College is definitely a good time to learn how to deal with roommates and notice your bad habits ;)

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  2. I loved this post! I've always thought that everyone should live alone for at least one year. I've had roommates and was married before too and living alone is so good for me right now.I can hide out if I want to, entertain people without asking anyone else, no one eats my food while I'm at work. But I've also learned to do everything, so I'll never be that wife that says oh I don't know how to install wifi or fix the toilet. Is it terrible that I think it's ESPECIALLY important for men to live on their own? Learn how to properly feed yourself and clean stuff!! Ha ha! But good for you for writing this!!

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    1. YES! It's especially important for men. They can learn how to do their own laundry! I hate when guys don't know those basic fundamentals. I've been doing my own laundry since high school, I'm not doing yours. lol

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  3. I live alone & have for the past 17 years, and I love it. My home is my sanctuary. I spent a lot of time on my own growing up because both of my parents worked odd hours, and I got used to being alone. When I lived with roommates I would retreat into my bedroom every so often just to get some peace & quiet or I went stir crazy because there was always someone around.

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    1. Wow, that's a long time! I definitely felt like I couldn't have my own space when I lived with roomies. Having your own sanctuary is SO important!

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  4. i have been living alone for the past 7 days while husband has been overseas
    i have to say that i have quite liked it
    brett

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  5. Whenever anyone says they don't think they could ever live alone, I say, "Give it three weeks." That's all it takes to absolutely love it.

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  6. I went straight from college roommates to my husband (well, just my boyfriend back then), so I never got to live alone. I should of. I think it would be bliss!

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    1. Aw well as long as you get along with your hubby hehe

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  7. So glad you wrote about this--it is so wonderful to have the space and peace of mind. One of my married friends gets so frightened to be by herself when her husband is away. I love both--being alone and sharing my space, but it is such an important and adult skill to be able to enjoy time alone--glad you are enjoying it!
    xo Mary Jo

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    1. Thanks! Aw yeah I don't want to be that future wife who can't handle when her husband leaves

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  8. now that my kid is 18 and going on to start her own adult life, i couldn't be happier to come home to my dog most days and not another human...it feels so good to be in your own space. i lived with w/my partner for over 7 years and now i always say, if we move back in, we need to have our own rooms, LOL but like you, sometimes I do wonder what if something happens to me and i just hope that the people who know me will realize before something really bad happens, but i am a tough cookie, i was in labor for 6 hours before i called anyone to come, so... ;)

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    1. Oh my! 6 hours... tough woman hehe

      Aw I don't even have a dog. I will get one but I'd like to do some traveling first but getting A LOT of pressure from family :)

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  9. I love coming home to my mom's house for a day. Then I get to go home and de-stress.

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  10. I'm 18 and I live with my boyfriend. I feel better than living with my parents but I think that after our rent ends in 2 years then I might have enough to live alone. I am really independent and the thing I hate is that he has so much stuff that I want to get rid of.

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