June 22, 2011

I'm Getting Too Old For Dating

I really wanted the post title to be Danny Glover's line "I'm getting too old for this shit" because that's really how I've been feeling. I recently rejoined OkCupid, an online dating site. I had joined it about two years ago and it's where I met my ex. He was my third date (the first two weren't so great) but him and I clicked right away and we began hanging out almost every day. It was such a simple idea, "hey I like you let's see where this goes." I didn't have to wonder if he liked me because he'd call and say let's hang out. Done and done. Not saying that relationship was the best, but I definitely like how it started off. A few months ago I walked away from that relationship (refer to this post) and thought I was ready to get back into the dating world.

I have always been the monogamous type. I enjoy taking my time to get to know someone and get comfortable with one person rather than serial dating. My first relationship lasted a year and a half. My second one was two years (on and off). And my last one was a year and a half. I did some dating when I lived in LA. I lived out my crazy, young 20's phase where I dated some interesting men to say the least. Including a dude who was in a heavy metal band that had a mohawk (so hot!). I have a weakness for mohawks. I got that out of my system and my bad relationships definitely showed me what I was looking for in my next relationship.

However, during my recent return to OkCupid at 25 (almost 26!), I found myself tired of the stupid games. My friends encouraged me to go on to get out and have fun since I had drowned myself with work and classes. I thought, sure why not. I talked to a few people and one guy sparked my interest. We met up on a whim and had a really funny date (I tripped and fell to have him rescue me). On paper it was a great match, he had lots of things I would be looking for. I thought if he didn't want a relationship, then I'd definitely be friends with him because he's fun to hang out with. He texted me right after out date that he had a great time. Then silence......... 5 days pass. I text him Monday night I'm near his area at an event if he wants to meet up afterwards, he finally answers THAT text. Long story short, he never gets back to me about meeting up. Men make no sense.

Another potential is playing this bizarre postpone our date game. I was supposed to go out with him Friday but then it got postponed for tonight (Wednesday). Then the night before he says "can we reschedule for next Tuesday." WHAT? Who is so busy that they have to postpone a date another week? Even though he has my number, he doesn't text me except to postpone our dates. Once again, men make no sense.

So after having been on OkCupid for about a month I decided to delete my profile. I am fed up. I've never been one to play games and really don't appreciate when they are used on me. I definitely understand not hitting it off but usually that's agreed upon by both parties. Don't tell me you had a great time then never speak to me. I have several friends on OkCupid and they deal with the same shit as well (and I'm sure every girl has). They say you have to date multiple guys so you don't get hung up on one and wonder "is he going to call me?" I don't know about you, but that sounds exhausting (insert Charlotte Sex and the City reference here).

I'm a simple girl and perhaps dating isn't for me. I was watching the movie Multiple Sarcasms and Mira Sorvino's characters says she's moving in with a guy she's been on one date with. Her friends tell her she's crazy and she's says "dating sucks, why not just save the trouble and move in together." Now I wouldn't go to that extreme but I have a similar ideal. I don't want to play a guessing game, or any game for that matter. I just want a guy to be honest about what "this" is. Until I find one that does then I think I'll avoid the dating scene for awhile.

How do you feel about dating?

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  1. OMIGOSH!! I have friends who this has happened to and there is GREAT VIDEO..I have to find it to you. Hot/cold men are driving my homies crazy and I can't figure out what the situation is.

    When I was just dating I really cut the game playing to a friggin minimum. Once I saw a guy had shady tendencies I just walked away. I am really a positive and transparent person I am not into, oh i like you but let me not show you. I don't wait to call people if I want to see them and I don't want my friends hinging on that too. I think the best approach to dating is when two parties are on the same page and that just hasn't happened to you recently. Keep your head up, friend.

  2. I have to admit i havent done much dating in my 23 yrs of life, but it can def be a pain in the ass. I personally believe in fate and things happening for a reason and if you are single right now it is for a specific reason. Perhaps you need to still focus on yourself, and get your life situated before you join and combine lives with some one else.

    One of my good friends was always complaining about men and the fact that she was 27 and still single. But she has a masters degree, a career and has done so much traveling.
    She has got to live her life and enjoy her youth and now she just recently found a really great guy. I knew she would and I know you will to Kimberlee!


  3. I tend to use the date multiple guys at a time solution (although, as I've mentioned things never usually get past a second date) But I hear you, hot/cold wish-washy men drive me up the wall. Enough of this shit.

  4. It doesn't matter at what age it is as long as you like meeting new people.

  5. there is no such thing as being old on dating, it just that you thought you have meet different kinds of people and you realize you are just wasting your time. lol

  6. Dating is part man and women's life stages. even in the old times, people starts dating in their own way to prepare themselves to the next level, marriage and long time relationship.


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