June 17, 2011

Dear Ex Boyfriends, Why I Don't Hate You

Dear ex boyfriends,

You may think I hate you after how our relationships ended but I don't. Sure, I may have walked out on you while you were in the shower when another girl texted you. Sure, you may have lied when I asked who was calling you to only later look at your phone and see flirtatious texts. Sure, you may have made every excuse in the book to not pay for any of our dates. Sure, you may have mooched off of me every way you could without being appreciative. Sure, I may have found a girl's hair on your sweater for you to say it was mine (I have brown hair by the way). Sure, you may have not bothered to call me for not just one day... one week... but ONE MONTH. Sure, I may have bailed you out of circumstances with large sums of money with you promising to pay me back (I'm still waiting...). Sure, you may have done all these things and more but I don't hate you.

Why? You aren't worth it. I know this is a hard concept for you to grasp. I know I can walk away from our relationships knowing that I did my best and was a loyal girlfriend. Can you say the same? I didn't think so. I have always lived by the mantra "don't regret anything." Sure, there are parts of my past (like you) that I wish I could do over or erase but they made me who I am. Every life experience we have shapes who we are as a person. And I like me. You only live once so I'm not going to waste it regretting you. I can exert my energy towards something else. Something positive.

I will never forget all the things you did to me and I'm sure guys in the future will have to work harder to earn my trust because you betrayed it. However, I didn't end up bitter because I'm not a pathetic person. It only took me a few short moments to realize that you aren't even worth thinking about let alone missing. So I went on with my life, moved to the city I love and will open my heart again to someone else. Hopefully this time he won't betray me. If he does, then he'll join the list with the rest of you but I'll carry on. I know I am worth loving so I will keep trying to find it until I find someone who appreciates me for all that I am. Something none of you could say you did.

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  1. Hey, nice post. Best not to hold grudges. I'm taking a year off from dating because of my bad relationship experiences. It's been a great opportunity to get to know myself without the distraction of a man. It's changed me in a fundamental way.

  2. Kimberlee, I love this post. It's so positive and uplifting and girl affirming. I especially like, "Sure, there are parts of my past (like you) that I wish I could do over or erase but they made me who I am. Every life experience we have shapes who we are as a person. And I like me." My son recently said about this same thing to me about regrets. He said if you have regrets it means you don't like how you are now because everything that happened to you made you who you are. I also love, "However, I didn't end up bitter because I'm not a pathetic person." I am going to remember that line. You go, girl, and may the next one be worthy of you! Debbie http://thriftygirlvintage.com

  3. Anything in particular that triggered this post? Since I personally know who you're referring to, I have to say that I wish I was as strong as you and wouldn't cry during the Stanley Cup and get emotional hearing about my ex boyfriend almost six months later.

  4. Great post! I am really pleased for you, he is so obviously not worth the effort and any more of your energy

  5. @For those about to shop- That's a great thing to do! I did that after one ex and it was so great to just discover who I was in my early 20s.

    @Debbie- Your son is smart! I'm glad you enjoyed :)

    @Trishy- haha not that I can recall, I've been working on this for a little over a week. I say stop wishing and start doing!

    @Style Eyes- It was more than one who was this bad but thank you for reading :)

  6. PRIMPING in Midtown East lmao love you <3

  7. GREAT post! Absolutely love it! You go girl!


    Fashion Fractions

  8. I'm giving you a virtual high-five, Kimberlee. Yep, don't hold the grudge you did MORE than you could and you are stronger, smarter, sharper than I bet you thought you were b/c of that experience.


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